Tastefully Navigating Microaggressions In A Macro-world

You may not be familiar with the term microaggression, but odds are you have already experienced it or will experience it in your lifetime. The chance of one intentionally or inadvertently initiating a microaggression may be even higher because we live in the world.

As per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a microaggression is a comment or action that subtly and often unconsciously expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a marginalized group (such as a racial minority). “Microaggression.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/microaggression. Accessed 2 Oct. 2026. For discussion purposes, I am expanding this definition to go beyond the historical concept of a “marginalized group” and am including everyone. A microaggression in present day also spans across genders, sexual orientation, physical characteristics, age, voice, ambulation, clothing, and just about anything that people represent.

Microaggressions can run the gamut from mildly irritating to obnoxious to highly offensive. Depending on the situation, microaggressions can be from those we love and cherish most to a random stranger who felt empowered to share their unrequested two cents (factoring in inflationary scales; more likely 25 cents) about your appearance, demeanor or perceived disposition in life. Some microaggressions affect us more deeply than others. Whether intentional or not, a microaggression from a friend, family member or someone in authority can especially impact one’s well-being. It may be easier to dismiss microaggressions from acquaintances or trolls, but having a positive self-image and good self-esteem are essential to tastefully and successfully navigating these situations regardless of the source.

Let’s start with microaggressions you may have received from friends and family as these have the potential to impact you the most. Friends and family often hold very special places in our lives, so when we are the recipient of microaggressions at that level, the significance and weight of such statements can echo far beyond commentary uttered by a stranger or casual acquaintance. Such statements may be even more devastating if it entails a diminutive comparison to a family member who you actually admire but do not wish to be juxtaposed to in such a dismissive way. “If only you were like your older brother Robert. Now there’s an example of an accomplished professional man. He has everything. Why don’t you try to be more like him?” “It must be exhausting and frustrating waking up so early to look presentable when your charming spouse seems to awaken at the last moment looking like a runway model?” “Still looking for a partner Steven? Try not to be too picky at your age.” “That is amazing that they have such a beautiful pattern in plus sizes. You can finally feel a little glamour too.”

Next, let’s explore professional microaggressions that can be extremely complex because they can impact one’s employment status, career advancement or favorability. “You must be from the 'Islands.' The people there love those neon colors. I prefer delicate pastels but wish I had the courage to dare wear a color that bright at work.” “Is that a special cultural dish you’re heating in the microwave that smells rather pungent, but probably tastes delish?” “I understand if you can’t stay late at work tonight. Having to arrange childcare, dealing with spotty bus schedules and walking through your dangerous neighborhood must be so challenging for an entry-level employee?” “We were thinking of planning an elegant holiday cocktail party this year. Don’t worry about the dress code, I have tons of couture outfits you could sort through so you wouldn’t have to budget for a gown to feel comfortable.”

Finally, we delve into microaggressions from just living life (walking your dog, extemporaneous elevator exchanges, inevitable public encounters). The randomness of these interactions make them dually trivial and yet simultaneously exponentially irritating because you have virtually no history with these persons and yet the speaker resoundingly voices these utterances as if they are imparting pivotal wisdom that you were unaware until that moment that you were searching for.

Microaggressions are more a commentary on the speaker than the recipient. Even a family member or friend regardless of their longevity, cannot define your existence or chart your course in life. At this juncture in your existence, you have likely developed a keen sense of differentiating constructive criticism from unhelpful statements and derogatory comments. Depending on your connectivity and reverence for your friend or family member, your responses for these microaggressions could range from the lighter-hearted/thoughtful response of appreciating their intent but holding them accountable for their delivery, or firmly yet gracefully as deserved reminding them that sharing deep bonds is valued but does not grant them carte blanche to make such potentially impactful comments without greater consideration on how it may be received.

Being candid is understandably more nuanced in a workplace setting, but accountability should not be forfeited. One can professionally and measuredly express that the comment was received as a microaggression and made them feel that their colleague or employer was making a statement based on preconceived notions rather than reaching out and responding to the person as an individual instead of a group or concept. Yes, sometimes we may all say something without thinking first, but if it becomes a pattern, it is acceptable and warranted to professionally bring it to one’s attention.

Addressing microaggressions from acquaintances and strangers may be the least stressful and, dare I say, minimally meaningful as your nexus to them tends to range from minute to “que sera sera”. Channeling Ms. Carey: “I don't know her!” Strangers and acquaintances may be entitled to their opinions, but you are the gatekeeper of your facts and representation. Anyone can make a microaggression unintentionally or targeted but your response or decidedly lack thereof as the situation necessitates, makes the difference in your wellbeing, dignity and ability to tastefully navigate any microaggressions you are more than likely to encounter frequently in our macro-world.